About 11 years ago a man moved in next door to me. He replaced a neighbour who was a racist person and, as follows, was nasty in other ways. The new man seemed like a breath of fresh air and we became friends. I met his partner, we all got on well and then just before the first Covid lockdown (March 2020) she moved in with him.

Then the arguments between them started. Strictly speaking I shouldn’t be able to hear anything from that flat in mine yet I could repeat their arguments back to them. Then they’d come to me in turn after an argument and expect me to take sides and I sent them back to talk to one another. She desperately wanted things to work and he desperately wanted things to fail.

Just under three years ago they moved and we decided to keep in touch. They repeatedly asked me to go and visit them and no matter how many times I explained that they lived in a part of town that held horrendous memories for me my words fell on deaf and, as it turns out, rather stupid ears.

Recently it became clear that he was sleeping around and she was allowing him to because life without a man was some kind of shame. Then the name he called one of the residents in the care home for people with learning disabilities hoisted more than one flag. Then to top it all of he exposed himself as a “close are boarders” flag shagger type yet took sides with his best friend who thinks Britain should let in immigrants as long as they’re white. All this within a matter of months that I found out about in a matter of days.

He rang me to tell me that he and his partner had decided to split up and I let rip. Not about the sleeping around but the racism and abuse of an elderly man in a care home. (He got the sack for the latter and it was a decision well made.)

I blocked him and then she rang me. We had a conversation the next day and she told me she’d always known about his racism and that just because he had opinions that were different to hers didn’t make him a bad person or her a racist. Her attitude was making me back away slowly from her, slowly because I didn’t want a whining outburst of emotion.

She’s met a new man. He’s good looking and treats her with respect but he’s told her that if his children come to him and say they’re gay or trans he’s going to tell them that they’re not. I have backed away faster and ghosted her. She used someone else’s phone to send me a message tonight asking me if I’m okay.

I haven’t responded of course and if you really don’t get why you’ve been ghosted then it explains why you’re a stupid racist homophobic transphobe.